It was the late Nora Ephron, famous playwright and journalist, who said that one must be the heroine of your own life and not the victim. I hope that my heroine will one day have more to overcome other than the pathetic feeling of boredom and apathy towards life in general. I have to now face, with much regret in stating this, the long journey to London as I take my parents to the airport. They will be gone for near a month and my sisters already have filled that space up with plans, plans and more plans. Boyfriends, jobs, things to do, people to see - me not being one of them of course since I moved back from Scotland to spend more time with them....so I suppose my battle is loneliness at the moment, left with no car, no money and absolutely no boyfriend. My Aunt Mimi sadly just passed away too, and at the age of 57, the news came as quite a shock...just not shock enough that it would spur my family on in the objective of solidarity. Nope. I will miss the company of my parents, the banter and the constant presence of them being there, in the background or otherwise, for me to talk to...I have friends, lots of people I would like to see and spend time with...but I suppose without money and transport, it proves to be quite difficult...I am hopeless really aren't I? Am I a heroine much, who am I saving? Aren't I more the victim...well if so then what to do to overcome this malady...perhaps I must instead, make plans??? Exercise my heart out...yes I wish things were simpler, how is it that even if I do those things I am still bored. I complain about how many times I have to visit the job centre every week even though I know in my heart, that I have a job to start in September so I am technically not that hapless and bored...so then why I am completely bored and unfulfilled, is it my age, the weather, the lack of love I feel in my life??? or the lack of purpose in my life, surely I need an adventure for this heroine to show her stuff!!!!
"I can live alone, if self-respect, and circumstances require me so to do. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give."
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