Well somehow it's December. It's the season of goodwill and festive cheer. It came so quickly, it was summer yesterday surely! I should be quite happy around about now, since coming back to Wales in July, I have a job (which I enjoy and which pays the bills) and a car (which gets me around) as well as plans that are starting to form and mould into exciting new things. But all it is is money. This time of year more than ever, the rift between those who have it and those who don't becomes more apparent. It used to be that family was worth it's weight in gold when the days draw in and the nights get extra cold, money can't keep you warm at night and leave a loving feeling in your heart like the ones most dear to you right? Well my sisters constantly ask me, 'What did you get mam?', 'What did you buy soandso?'...and it's all about the presents, the prestige, the shopping, the money!
Why can't people ask, 'So what charity are you choosing this year?' or 'So is the old lady down the road coming over for Xmas dinner?'...instead some people are beginning to hate Christmas...one man I served in Tesco at the checkout a few years ago stuck in my head. He was grumpy on Xmas Eve, buying value crisps and cans of beer...I tried to cheer him up asking him a generic question about getting ready for Xmas, he snapped back...'I hate Xmas! My kid will never be happy, all the other kids have loads and he has nothing he wants, I've worked two jobs right up until next year just to buy the minimum, I hate it!!'
Why is suicide the highest at this time of year, and has been for so long, yet no one pays any attention to what so many people can't go on living through. I had an ideal in my head that I would sell all my xmas presents or ask all my friends to donate money to charity in my name, but I forgot about that quite quickly and started browsing the shelves and spending hours online searching for all the items I wanted to have. Not that I don't have enough to begin with! I suppose I have less than a lot of people my age, I only work part time hours so money is sparse and since giving away all my clothes and possessions bar a backpack last year, I have little to show for 23 years worth of buying! This year I am selling all my BRANDED ITEMS, I'm calling it banish the brands and with the money half of it is going to charity and half is going towards cheaper clothing to replace the ones I sell. It isn't perfect but for someone who makes £30 a day it is the best I can do for now...
